Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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