i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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