you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
