It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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