We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
