So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
