I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i believe in u and ur pee
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
