but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
