ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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