I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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