Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
