Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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