He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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