I'm gonna have a badass scar
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
