When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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