dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
