I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
