Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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