Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
