after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
