So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
