i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm at about main and main street
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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