your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
