You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My dick has a subreddit
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
