it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
