If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
