He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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