I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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