Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
