just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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