Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My ass is underappreciated
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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