I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
