____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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