He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
