Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
