watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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