Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
