i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
They should really pass out barf bags in church
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
