I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
