I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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