i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
