this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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