if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
my poor anus
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
