...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
