He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I came so hard my ears popped.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
