I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
