i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
