u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize