Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
