i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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