Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
