i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
