I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
