If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
