at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
