And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
my liver is dry heaving
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
