He is an equal opportunity slut.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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