....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
