what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
