why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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