I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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