I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
