worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
