we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
