hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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