her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize