I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
